moraled | week three, sunday

week three, sunday

[FUCK

Everything is awful, and Barnham is pissed. Eventually, he ends up storming into the bathhouse, brow furrowed, expression flat--

And freezes when he gets to the water and notices someone who should definitely not...be there...if he was on the right side.

(Alarmingly, he can't even be sure if he went on the wrong or right side or not. He's tired and exasperated and frustrated and angry.)]

... Lady Instructor.

[A pause...and then he sighs. Whatever. Fuck it. They already stripped in the trial (fat load of good that did) and now... here they are.

He steps into the water.]

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[ ... Huh.

Huh?????

For a minute, Sara looks genuinely bewildered, as though she actually can't come up with some sort of sassy remark as to why they're somehow in the same side of the baths.

But really, that much is true, because she's also very frustrated and tired and angry. And so she doesn't actually flinch when he joins her, instead shrugging her shoulders wearily. ]

I hope you're not looking for a pep talk.

Certainly not.

[Barnham sinks into the water where it's warm and clean and he has a towel so whatever--normally his sense of propriety wouldn't allow for this, but normally his sense of propriety and justice wouldn't allow for 7 deaths in a week, and here they are.

He grimaces.]

I imagine you have given more than enough of those.

[...]

I am here simply for a bath.

They didn't actually do a whole lot of good, so... just as well.

[ Again, a shrug. The water's hot enough to help her fatigue, but just one look at her is enough to show that Sara's far from relaxed right now. If anything, she looks about ready to snap. ]

[It sure is obvious--and how could he blame her? It's pretty obvious that what happened is weighing on all of them, but--]

...Are you concerned?

[Not about the game, not about anything like that, because that's damned obvious, but rather--]

That you have not assisted the children, and have helped them keep their heads in this damned treacherous pit?

...

[ In response, Sara's uncharacteristically silent for a few minutes, just kind of... sitting there and glancing down at the water's surface. Then-- ]

They're not my students. I haven't had the time with them that I've had with my class, and it's not like I don't know that kids are going to get thrown into some pretty unfair situations that they're not ready for.

But at the same time...

[ And like a mature adult, she lifts one hand, balls it into a fist, and brings it down harshly into the water with a ridiculous splash. ]

I hate that I couldn't do a single thing this time! Not for Xion, not for Percy, not even for any of the victims! I can say things will be fine as long as we don't give up, but when things like this happen, it just sounds like empty promises!

[It's hard, really.

Whereas others despair for themselves in a situation like this, Sara despairs for the children. For those who don't deserve to be in this situation, and those she wishes to protect.

He watches her quietly for a long moment--and then, simply, he nods.]

Indeed. The platitudes, for all that you mean them, are empty. We have no control over this situation, and I believe in their hearts, the children know so as well.

[...]

However. That the platitudes are empty does not mean they are not needed. That the children know we have no control does not mean they do not need someone to be that controlling, comforting force nonetheless.

They depend on you, Lady Instructor. You are a source of strength to them, and though they may be shaken now, they nonetheless hold on to that peace of mind you offer them, whether it be false or not.

[Another beat, and tiredly and wearily, he smiles to himself.]

As I said. You are a most excellent instructor, Lady Instructor Sara.

[ For a moment, she wants to point out that he somehow made her nickname even longer-- and she'll blame her exhaustion on it later, that she even thinks that. But then it hits her, a split second later, that he'd said her name. ]

No teacher really wants to teach a pointless lesson. [ It's lost a lot of her previous heat, though, demoted to a quieter mumble. She hadn't expected that from Barnham, even though she really should have by now. ]

But I get it. I can't let myself lose confidence in front of them.

[ Just like she'd told Milla: the adults needed to be adults. ]

I am afraid, even so, that that has become your lot. I am sorry for the burden you must bear.

[He means that sincerely, too. It's a lot for poor Sara to deal with, and he wouldn't wish it on anyone.

But...]

However, I am nonetheless glad it is you.

[She can do what a lot of people can't, he thinks.]

Your unfailing spirit shall serve you well--even here and now.

I know something's wrong when you've got more confidence in me than I've got in myself right now... [ It's a very low mutter, and honestly, she'll be able to kick herself out of it when she's fully clothed and facing the world again. But right now, it's just Barnham in a towel and she's so tired.

Which, she thinks, is kind of absurd, considering the life she's led until now. Becoming a child mercenary, and then a bracer, and then a teacher-- this shouldn't be anything that wearying. ]

On occasion, that is what we require for the sake of our spirits.

[He knows it; he's learned it very well for himself.]

Human beings are not meant to handle such things on their own, Lady Instructor, strong even as you are.

[He shakes his head simply.]

Occasionally, even you shall require someone to assist you in picking yourself back up.

... Ha. [ it's more of a noise than a laugh, honestly. ]

And you're volunteering yourself to pick me up?

Should you need it, if nothing else, I can assure you that I shall do my best to fulfill that duty.

[So there, Sara. He'll help.]

Well, for your sake, I'll try not to give you an extra job to do.

[ He has enough to worry about. ]

Do not even begin to consider it as such.

["A job", that is.

He shakes his head.]

It is an earnest offer, one without such concerns.

... You know, you're actually pretty endearing.

[ For an Inquistor. ]

[...Ah....]

Should I be offended or flattered, I wonder... You sound rather shocked by that matter, and admittedly, I am not certain myself if "endearing" is the trait I should be attempting to emulate here.

If you were trying, that'd just be annoying. So yes, consider it a compliment. I'm touched.

[Oh........]

W-well, it was simply a statement of fact!

[don't make this about being touched or emotions, okay... It's a little embarrassing.]

[ There's a pause, before she snorts quietly. ]

Are you embarrassed, Inquisitor?

I--certainly am not!

[yes, yes he is[

You're blushing. [ Heh. ]

I am not.

[he is]

Lady Instructor, if you please--

[spare him]

You're pretty much naked in a bath with a beautiful lady and me complimenting you is the most embarrassing thing?

[ Really? ]

[...why you gotta bring it up, sara....

He's quiet for a moment at that.

Uh...]

...Admittedly, this is entirely improper... [Cough.] I am afraid I cannot recall if I did or did not enter the wrong bath, though I suppose this makes it quite clear...

[He's so tired after the past three weeks....]

... Honestly, I wasn't paying attention either. There wasn't really a point in worrying about it.

[ She'd just wanted a soak. ]

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